Warriors Fish Flight
by Sounds of Snow
Summary: Season 3 of the epic series. First Warriors Mouse Cash and Warriors Bird Fight became two of the most popular TDI and warriors crossovers. Now watch as 18 determined cats go for the goal once again!
1. Airstrips and Assholes

**Here we go again; another splendid addition to the Warriors and TDI crossover series! Now that I think about it, it's been really hard to find the sequels and prequels of these series unless you look for my name 'Snowwhistle' because the names aren't very similar. In a way they are, but I guess naming the three series TDI Warriors, TDA Warriors, and TDWT Warriors would've been a little bit easier to understand. Oh well... can't change the past. ENJOY!**

First there was Warriors Mouse Cash

Then came Warriors Bird Fight

And now... introducing...

_**Warriors Fish Flight!**_

1. Airstrips and Assholes

Chris stood on the airstrip next to a giant plane. By his side were his two favorite co hosts; Linzerg and Chef. "Okay then," Chris said. "Those kitties should be here momentarily." "Uh..." Linzerg moaned. "This almost isn't worth a hundred grand." "Say what yah will about Chris," Chef said. "His pay is worthy of a king!"

All of the sudden a pay bus rolled in and dropped off Firestar, Graystripe, Tigerstar, Scooter, Belle, Spottedleaf, Brambleclaw, Leafpool, Squirrelflight, Yellowfang, Stormfur, Feathertail, Whitestorm, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, Jayfeather, and Sandstorm. They were all shoved out of the bus and thrown onto the ground. "Thanks for the sex bus driver!" Sandstorm yowled at the bus.

"By the way, you have a new contestant!" Chris walked toward a curtain. "Introducing, Dovepaw!" A curtain was pulled back to reveal a tiny she-cat. The 17 others burst out laughing. "What the hell is wrong with you guys?" asked Dovepaw. "If you haven't noticed," replied Firestar. "You're the only apprentice here!" Dovepaw began to whimper.

"Okay," Chris said. "This time, you'll be on teams of three. Here are the teams. **Team Bold: Graystripe, Yellowfang, Leafpool, Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Feathertail. **_Team Italics: Firestar, Dovepaw, Whitestorm, Tigerstar, Brambleclaw, Spottedleaf. _Team Underline: Squirrelflight, Sandstorm, Jayfeather, Stormfur, Belle, and Scooter."

"Could you have come up with any cheesier names?" asked Whitestorm. "We could've," Chris replied. "But the names we wanted were taken and illegal." The cats stared in silence. "Any who," Chris began. "This series challenge will involve wherever in the world we are. Today's challenge will involve a Canadian Airstrip. But first I'll tour you around the plane."

Chris walked them to a catnip carpeted room with yarn embroidering the walls, six beds made out of leaves and a pool of milk. It also contained a table with nineteen kinds of prey on it and a pan of Friskys. "This is what's in store for the six cats who win. They will get 1st class luxury.

Chris then showed them and average room with dull features and uncomfortable chairs. "This is normal class. This is what's in store for the team that earns middle place." The last room was an empty room full nails, broken glass, and a hole in the floor. "This is the room where the last place team sleeps!" Chris shouted.

Chris then showed them the last section on the plane. "This is the drop of shame." Chris told them. "If you're out, you'll be shoved out this plane door with a parachute." "How're we supposed the release the parachute without thumbs?" asked Whitestorm. "That's your problem," Chris replied. "I'm not the one who'll be jumping."

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Chris – "You'll making diary entries in the small bathroom on this plane."

Lionblaze – "Well... another season of torture; how could it get worse?"

Yellowfang – "It could get ten times worse, it just hasn't happened yet."

Graystripe – "This sucks..."

Jayfeather – "I was so... close! Last season... I may've won!"

Whitestorm – "I plan to get a personality this season. First I need the find out what a 'personality' is."

Static...

"All right," Chris shouted. "Linzerg, Chef, and I will be judging on how fast you can load the food for this season. **Team Bold **will be packing food for the first class cabin. _Team Italics _will be packing food for regular class. Team Underline will be packing food for the loser cabin area. Last team to finish loses. And no eating the food, each one of us will be watching you guys."

...

**Team Bold ~**

Graystripe was throwing delicious prey into the storage area of the first class room. "Come on guys!" He shouted. "We have to get all the food in here!" But all he saw was his five other teammates staring at the food. "No eating!" shouted Linzerg. "Now get packing!" The five others nodded and began helping Graystripe.

"Why do we have to win this?" asked Feathertail. "If we lose we can just boot off Leafpool." "Will you all stop that!" howled Leafpool. "You're telling me about something that happened two seasons ago! Get over it and move on!" The cats on her team grunted and continued moving food into the containers.

_Team Italics ~_

"Hurry up Dovepaw!" cried Firestar. "We're trying to win!" "Sorry!" Dovepaw yelled back. "I'm not as big as you!" "That's because you're an apprentice!" Tigerstar shouted. "A weak, feeble apprentice," added Brambleclaw. "I'm doing my best!" Dovepaw yelled. "And we're doing ten times better." Spottedleaf commented. Dovepaw began to cry then ran away. The others continued shoveling food cans into storage.

Team Underline ~

The cats on this team were busy trying to stow six heavy cinderblocks into the cargo bay area where the losers would sleep. "Why would the losers eat these bricks?" asked Stormfur. "Because," Chef replied. "Cats who suck, don't get, no real food. They eat only non process cinder blocks! And they gonna like it!"

...

"Alright," Chris announced a couple hours later. "The winning team is... Team Underline! _Team Italics _came in a close second, and **Team Bold **reigned third. So... I'll see **Team Bold **out by the drop of shame tonight!"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Sandstorm – "Woo-hoo! My team gets free treatment. So Chef, are you available?"

Chef – "Good god, NO!"

Linzerg – "No, he's available."

Sandstorm – "Yes, Chef is all for me!"

Chef – "Damn it! Now I gotta do the bitch."

Static...

Several hours later after the plane had taken off. "I have five fish, but I see six cats," Chris began. "Whoever does no receive a fish must grab a parachute and hop off the drop of shame! The first safe cat is Feathertail." Feathertail received her fish and then yelled, "Hell yeah!"

"Now, Graystripe," Graystripe grabbed his and yelled, "Take that, suckers!"

"Yellowfang,"

"Then it's Lionblaze," he grabbed his fish and then shouted, "F*ck yes!"

"I have one fish left... it goes to..." Leafpool lowered her head. Hollyleaf had a hopeful gleam in her eye. "Leafpool," Leafpool snapped up. "What," she said. "Why?" "We were mad," Yellowfang said. "But you're right. We got over it." Hollyleaf looked at her team and said. "Fine... see yah!" she grabbed a parachute and jumped.


	2. Nether Regions of the Netherlands

First there was Warriors Mouse Cash

Then came Warriors Bird Fight

And now... introducing...

_**Warriors Fish Flight!**_

2. Nether Regions of the Netherlands

**Team Bold **nervously crawled out of the room which they'd slept in. Broken glass and rusty nails lined their pelts and fear gaped through their eyes. Belle walked up to the saddened team. "How you guys doing?" she asked. "We've seen so much," Lionblaze murmured. "Never again..., will we take... giants holes! in the ground for granted... We're so sorry..." Belle began to back away slowly.

"Alright cats and kittens!" Chef exclaimed. "Better be ready 5, 4, 3, 2; you better be ready now or I'll skin yah alive, fools!" "Okay... Snowwhistle can terminate my job now," Linzerg said. "This show sucks! Well... I was having fun 'till Chef Hatchet came back." "Can't leave," Chris said entering the room. "You're under contract until this show ends." Linzerg grunted.

"Today's challenge," began Chris. "Takes place in the Netherlands. I'll explain the challenge when we arrive." "Ah... Europe," Firestar sighed. "A country with dikes, dams, and windmills which produce land for the people." The cats just stared. Firestar sighed. "Big water plugs," Firestar explained to the others. "Make water go bye, bye." "Oh..." the other cats said.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Leafpool – "Damn is a bad word... why would people plug up the water with damns."

Firestar – "Not D-A-M-N, damn. D-A-M, dam; is what I mean. D-A-M, dam means a large wall used to hold back water."

Leafpool – "My brain hurts." Leafpool falls down unconscious.

Sandstorm – "Do they have croissants?"

Whitestorm – "No... That's Paris."

Dovepaw – "Actually, it's all of France."

Sandstorm – "No, it's the Netherlands!"

Whitestorm – "You're crazy!"

Dovepaw – "Shut the hell up!"

Whitestorm – "Are you trying to start a fight?"

Dovepaw – "F*ck yah!"

Sandstorm – "Bitches!"

Leafpool – "How come a censoring machine just censored f*ck?"

Firestar – "Oh my god..." Slaps paw to his face.

Static...

Chris escorted the cats to a giant piece of land, with only one bridge. "Today's challenge is simple." Chris explained. "The first cat over the bridge wins for their team." "No way they're gonna fall for..." Linzerg didn't finish as all the cats ran across the bridge. "Well," she continued. "What do yah know, they are that stupid." "Honestly, I expected this much from those crazy cats," Chef whispered.

As soon as all the cats had crossed the only bridge, Chef took a giant bowling ball, threw it at the bridge and it then slowly sunk towards the bottom. The cats all had jaw dropped expressions from this. "What the hell!" Jayfeather shouted from the other side of the river. "Your real challenge is to see who can stay on land and not drown the longest!" Chris yelled.

As he said that, the water began to build up and rise towards the piece of land. "Ah!" shouted Graystripe as he ran towards the center of the little piece of land. The cats followed his league and did the exact same thing. "AH!" The cats began to gather around each other. "What're we gonna do?" asked Stormfur. "None of us bothered to learn how to swim!"... "AH!"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Jayfeather – "I don't even have a clue of which way I'm supposed to run. I'M DOOMED!"

Yellowfang – "Am I scared? Yes. Will I win this challenge; probably."

Feathertail – "Second out, I don't plan to have that happen twice."

Tigerstar – "Soil is life... soil is life... water is death... water is death..."

Static...

Jayfeather immediately began running in a random direction. "Guys 'm I running the right w..." he never finished because he slipped into the water. "Guys I'm drow..." he sunk to the bottom. "AH!" all of the cats (skip Jayfeather) screamed. The sixteen left scattered and ran off in opposite directions.

Lionblaze, Leafpool, and Tigerstar all ran towards ditch. "Hey guys?" asked Lionblaze. "What were ditches used for?" "Well," replied Leafpool. "A ditch was commonly used in the middle ages as motes for protecting castles or as a tool for purifying fresh water by letting pure rush into ditches keeping contaminates out. Now ditches are ratified as obsolete, only being used for man made water ways." "An hour ago you didn't know what a dam was," Tigerstar shouted. As he said that, water rushed into the ditch.

**Team Bold: **3/5

_Team Italics: _5/6

Team Underline: 5/6

The water rushed farther and farther until there were only seven cats left. Those cats were Graystripe, Yellowfang, Whitestorm, Belle, Scooter, Sandstorm, and Stormfur. The standings at the time looked something like this.

**Team Bold: **2/5

_Team Italics: _1/6

Team Underline: 4/6

By this time, they were all cradling to the tallest Windmill. "We have too much weight!" cried Scooter. "Someone has to get off!" "Okay!" Belle replied as she knocked Scooter off. "You brought it on yourself, asshole!" Then a powerful wave swept all the cats but Belle off. "Yes!" she cried. "I won!" The water drained and Belle climbed down.

"Congrats Belle, Team Underline has won." Chris replied. "By the way, since we don't exactly know which team got second place, so we're going to do a coin toss. Heads is _Team Italics_." Chris flipped the coin. "Tails... I'll see _Team Italics _at the vote off."

Later when the plane had taken off...

"I have five fishes on this plate; whoever does not receive a fish will go the drop off shame and land in some random place. The first fish goes to..." everyone stared confidently at Chris. There was no clear cut loser in this vote off round. "Spottedleaf," She proudly took her fish and said, "I'd like to thank..."

"Moving on, Firestar,"

"Tigerstar,"

"Whitestorm," As he got his fish he shouted, "Yay! I'm in. Did that sound like a personality to any of you?"

"I only have one more fish," Chris said with a smirk as he waved the last fish in front of Dovepaw's and Brambleclaw's faces. "I know you both want this, but who deserves this the most." He held out the fish and said, "Dovepaw!" Dovepaw was shocked. "Why me?" she asked. "Brambleclaw is ten times the threat you are," Tigerstar said. "So we'll keep you for now."

Brambleclaw grabbed his parachute and as he was about to jump he said, "Bitches, Gentlemen, Linzerg, Chef, Chris..." He then jumped off. "I am so, a bitch... wait... that came out wrong," Linzerg said. "Yah..." Chef and Chris said. "We are too gentlemen! Ah... who're we kidding? We're not gentlemen, we're more like bastards."


	3. California Shecats!

First there was Warriors Mouse Cash

Then came Warriors Bird Fight

And now... introducing...

_**Warriors Fish Flight!**_

3. California She-cats!

_Team Italics _exited that room of torture which they'd slept in. "Well... now we know why Lionblaze turned into an exorcist parody," Tigerstar mumbled. Firestar then said, "That night sucked..." "I'm still picking broken glass and rusted nails from my hide. Chris and Chef are bastards, Linzerg is nice... but enjoys are suffering." Spottedleaf finished.

Meanwhile the winning team, Team Underline, proudly strode from their luxurious room. "Perfect food," said Belle. "Perfect beds," Scooter said. "Perfect cream," said Jayfeather. "Perfect air," said Stormfur. "What wasn't perfect?" asked Squirrelflight. "Scooter; man he hardly went into me," Sandstorm said. "I had to pull out!" Scooter shouted. "Did you want kits?"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Feathertail ~ "We haven't won, we lost once, and got the middle once. It sucks!"

Leafpool ~ "I hate these challenges! Our team can't win!"

Graystripe ~ "Ah... dead last isn't so bad. I was on a losing team in Season 2... I got 4th..."

Sandstorm ~ "So far I've had sex with Firestar, a rogue, a monkey, a car, a bus driver, Chef, Scooter, and; myself. I have to say, the car was the best..."

Static...

Chef was making waffles while Linzerg saw what he was doing. Linzerg asked, "Are you putting ketchup in the waffle batter?" "Family recipe; you gonna like, or die!" Chef replied. Meanwhile, Chris came to the cats. "Today's challenge takes place in LA. She-cats will need to wear bikinis, and shave fur off their bikini areas. Best runway model cat wins."

As he said that, the plane touched down in the Los Angeles International Airport. "Toms!" Chef yowled. "Go wait in that ice creams shop where I'll smother vanilla flavor with salmon!" "Yah!" screeched the toms as they rushed into the shop. "She-cats!" Chris cried. "Go get on some bikinis!" "F*ck you to HELL!" shouted Yellowfang.

Linzerg led the cats to a room full of bikinis. "Choose whichever one you like," she said. "By the way, some of them are loose, so Chris asked that you'd shave the parts you're bikini will be covering." Linzerg walked out and the cats shaved off their fur in their... well; 'areas...' and got into a bikini of their liking then got out and walked to the runway in the city.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Sandstorm – "Yah... my character build has led me to become a lazy slut... you think I care? I honestly don't. So if everyone will stop judging me, it'd be nice."

Whitestorm – "Hmm... maybe I could be the emo guy... that'd be a great personality!"

Firestar – "Five thousand flavors of salmon ice cream! Hooray!"

Leafpool – "My bikini top is so loose... Ah... nothing will happen."

Jayfeather – "We get to watch almost naked she-cats walk down a runway, and I can't watch. They shaved their fur! AND I CAN'T, FREAKING WATCH IT!"

Static...

Order of Runway Pamphlet  
**Yellowfang  
Leafpool  
Feathertail  
**_Dovepaw  
Spottedleaf_  
Squirrelflight  
Sandstorm  
Belle

Yellowfang strode down the runway with her pale maroon bikini. Chris, Linzerg, Chef, and all the toms watched. "I'll give her 5..." Chris said in disgust. Yellowfang stared at the camera. "Yah, I'm ugly. What of it?"

As Leafpool caressed down the runway, a gentle summer breeze tore her entire swimsuit away. Being shaved, she stood their exposed. All of the toms stared. "Boobs..." murmured Lionblaze. As Leafpool ran away (unable to cover herself up with no hands), Chris said, "Nice body, it gets a nine!"

(Leafpool looked so amazing; we turned off the cameras nudity censor.)

Feathertail strode through the runway, he boring body made the toms yell. "BOO! YOU SUCK!" called Tigerstar. "You hardly shaved your fur! I can't see any bald spots above your bikini!" called Stormfur. "I can't even see her!" complained Jayfeather. "You get a f*cking 1!" Chris called.

As Dovepaw walked down the runway, the toms began to laugh. "You don't even have boobs!" shouted Graystripe. "I haven't hit cat puberty!" cried Dovepaw. "Then you suck!" Graystripe called. As Dovepaw ran sobbing, Chris announced, "I'll give her a 3."

Spottedleaf got a 4... She was bland, the outfit was drab, her fur was barely noticeably shaved; her eye color sucked... uh... it was disgusting.

Squirrelflight walked down the runway. She was average. Not good... not bad... plain average. There was nothing special about her. She was just average so Chris decided to just give her a 7.

Sandstorm's was the worst... she didn't even bother putting the bikini on. And she shaved herself. "AH!" the tom's screeched. "Negative infinity to the 5th power!" Chris cried.

Then the winner appeared... Belle... She walked out eloquently and showed herself off in the thin swimwear like she was gold. The toms ooh'd... and aw'd... at her natural figure. A sniffling Chris whispered, "An angel... came to me... and I went to heaven... she is perfect... an infinity to the 19th power for her... Oh yah... Team Italics loses for Dovepaw..."

Later in the air...

"Team Italics," Chris said. "Second time here... not good..." The cats bowed their heads in shame. "The cat that loses must jump off this plane into who knows where. I bet that would suck! Okay... anyways. First cat safe right now is... Whitestorm." "I really need a personality."

"Firestar," As Firestar got his fish he asked, "You know, fishes have nothing to do with air. Birds would've been a better choice. In fact, mice would've been bets for season 2 and fish for season 1. In my opinion..."

"Next is Tigerstar,"

"I only have one more fish here..." Dovepaw and Spottedleaf eyed each other. Spottedleaf looked uneasy and so did Dovepaw. "Spottedleaf, you bored the heck outta us; but Dovepaw, you lost the challenge for you team by not hitting puberty already. Spottedleaf! Go give Dovepaw this fish and then to the drop of shame!"

"What!" Spottedleaf shouted.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Firestar – "If Dovepaw left, who'd we mock 24/7?"

Tigerstar – "As much as Dovepaw sucks, there's nothing wrong with her. Plus it's a riot when she runs away crying. I enjoy that."

Whitestorm – "Yah... had no reason to vote her off... all that crap. I have no personality! The hell 'm I gonna be for the rest of this bitched up show?" Chris' voice is heard. "How about a loser you always go home like... 4th or 5th."

Static...

Spottedleaf stood at the door with a parachute. "I'd like to say thank you to my wonderful teammates and to Linzerg for being nice. Chris you gave me this op..." She was pushed off before she could finish. "Sheesh," moaned Chris. "Thank god we got rid of her. Everyone can go sleep in the uncomfortable room now."


	4. Greek Games

First there was Warriors Mouse Cash

Then came Warriors Bird Fight

And now... introducing...

_**Warriors Fish Flight!**_

4. Greek Games

_Team Italics_ walked their way out of the painful room. "Twice," grumbled Firestar. "Our lives suck," Whitestorm said. "So, atleast you're not a hated running gag," Dovepaw complained. "That reminds me, you're a god damn dumb apprentice you bastard!" screeched Tigerstar.

Chris rounded up all the teams and said, "Good morning kitties!" The cats moaned and whined. "That's the spirit. We'll be landing in Greece soon. Today's challenges will be based on the Olympics. By the way, losing team has to watch the cursed video from 'The Ring.'" All the cats screamed.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Yellowfang – "Ah... I'm dead anyways..."

Graystripe – "Well... this sucks. Now what 'm I gonna do if our team loses?"

Tigerstar – "If we lose again, I'm making Firestar watch it."

Scooter – "Belle is so gonna die."

Stormfur – "It's just a two minute movie. How 'deadly' can it be?"

Sandstorm – "I'm so lazy; I may just sleep through the movie."

Firestar – "I just noticed how much space these Diary Cam Entries take up. It's like they're just here as a filler."

Snowwhistle (Woohoo, I'm now officially in the series) – "Shut the hell up, bitch! They're here because I god damn want um here!"

Firestar – 0_o "um..."

Static...

The plane touched down and the cats exited. Linzerg and Chef were waiting for them. "Alright!" shouted Chef. "This ain't no playtime! You all my slaves and you all gonna be bitched up at the end of this!" The cats stared in utter silence. "Drop and give me twenty!" "How do you do a pushup?" asked Dovepaw. "Now it's a hundred! DROP DOWN NOW!"

Every cat dropped and began doing pushups. After two minutes, just about every cat started getting tired. Sadly, Leafpool fell to the ground at seventy-seven. "Thanks to Leafpool, we're all gonna do it again!" Chef shouted. All the cats moaned. "Now we gonna do two hundred!"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Lionblaze – "Just... kill me... please..."

Feathertail – "I'm gonna kill Leafpool."

Jayfeather – "Wait; who kills whom now?"

Static...

Cats kept screwing up, dropping, moaning and complaining, and it was utter madness. Eventually they hit the seven-thousand mark where they finally got through with all of their pushups. The cat's collapsed. It's been about half the challenge. "Now," Chef said. "Team Underline had the best performance. Only two cats on their team dropped, and those cats only dropped once. They get an advantage in part 2; water between events."

"Congrats," Chris said with a smile as he strode over to the cats. "That was an equivalent of five years of training. Hopefully now you're all in shape." "Shut up!" Whitestorm cried. "Wait, Chris? Did that... sound like; I was angry? Or, did I oversell it?" "As I was saying," Chris said. "Now you'll move onto the actual Olympics."

...

The stadium doors opened. All of fans who love my Warriors and TDI story filled the stadium. The doors in the arena opened and Team Underline, _Team Italics_, and **Team Bold**, entered the sports zone. The Crowd went nuts as the cats waved their flags. The Flags looked like, A – _A_ – **A**. Look at that creativity!

"The first event is; the hundred mile dash!" Linzerg shouted. The crowd roared. "Isn't it supposed to be the hundred yard dash?" half asked, half whispered Jayfeather. "Select your Olympian!" Linzerg yowled. Team Underline picked Squirrelflight. _Team Italics_ chose Firestar. **Team Bold** picked Feathertail.

The cats crouched down and prepared the run. "Ready... set..." Linzerg said. The cats waited in anticipation. _**(Thirteen Hours Later)**_ The cats that were running the race were all asleep. "Go!" Linzerg cried. The cats snapped awake and started running. The three teams were about even for most of the race. UNTIL THIS HAPPENED!

Firestar was running beside his competitors. "Hey Feathertail, Squirrelflight; do either of you feel like stopping?" "Uh... yah;" they said in unison. "Then stop," Firestar told them. The two cats stopped and Firestar ran the last seven miles without any competition from following cats. He won. "Firestar wins the gold for _Team Italics_!" The crowd cheered.

"Now for the Silver medal; a wrestling match!" shouted Linzerg. "Pick your fighter!" **Team Bold** chose Yellowfang while Team Underline chose Scooter. The two cats entered the Wrestling match. "You're going down bitch!" shouted Scooter. "Shut up, faggot!" replied Yellowfang. "Oh, that's it you mother f*cker!" shouted Scooter.

_**Yellowfang's Power Level – "IT'S OVER 9000!"  
Graystripe's Power Level – "Is there an Einstein in the house?"**_

The two violently beat each other up. After twelve hours of insane fighting, only Scooter remained standing. Yellowfang should've won, but let's remember she's lazy; a violently lazy cat who fell asleep. "Team Underline wins!" shouted Chris as he entered in a Toga. "**Team Bold**, see you at the drop of losers."

Later when the plane had been launched and was in the air...

Chris stood there with a plate of fish and said, "I have four fish, and five cats with me. One of you will go home; blah, blah, blah... Let's begin. The first safe cat is Lionblaze." "I'm a hero for no reason!" shouted Lionblaze as he got his fish.

"Yellowfang,"

"Leafpool,"

Feathertail and Graystripe sat, staring at the lonely fish that rested in Chris' hand. "Feathertail, you stopped. That wasn't good... Although Graystripe, people are scared of your past high rankings... who'll be in?" Chris held the fish and proudly announced, "Feathertail!" Feathertail claimed her fish. "Wait! I can be an asset for our t-EAM!" shouted Graystripe as Chef threw him overboard.

Two Hours Later...

The cats all faced away from the TV Chris had placed in the losers room, all except Lionblaze. He stared straight at the screen without fear. The two minutes of horror erupted through disturbing scenes which somehow meant something. "Oh... this isn't that bad," he said to himself.

As the movie finished, a nearby phone which Chris also ironically placed the Third Class Cabin began to ring. Lionblaze picked up the phone and answered, "Hello?" _"Seven Days..."_ "I'm sorry, but... who the hell is this..." _"Seven Days..."_ The phone disconnected after that. "The bitch hung up on me!" shouted Lionblaze.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Chris – "Did he seriously just watch that tape?"

Samara – "Seven days..."

Snowwhistle – "Ah... The Ring... It's a scary movie... Yet it's good, all the same."

Static...

**_(Have you seen a story that needs work or could be improved or just want tips on how to write a story. Well then Project Warriors may be able to help you out! We look over a story and tell an author what they need to fix. However, we flag them... and kindly tell them why they were flagged in the first place. Or you may just visit us for tips. We have a whole topic on tips! Also, you can report stories you think need to be fixed, or the creator Autunmheart for permission as a Moderator. I am moderator of Project Warriors, proud to help authors write stories!)_**


	5. Into the Amazon

First there was Warriors Mouse Cash

Then came Warriors Bird Fight

And now... introducing...

_**Warriors Fish Flight!**_

5. Into the Amazon

**Team Bold** exited the room. "I can't believe you watched the tape," said Feathertail. "I know..." Lionblaze murmured. "I now have six days to find a copy machine and record that stupid tape! Plus I'd have to steal the video from CHEF! Also... who the hell will trust a cat with a VHS recorder!" "Man... you're screwed," Yellowfang told the scared tom.

The plane made a fascinating touchdown into the Amazon. "Alright cats;" announced Linzerg. "Everyone off the plane, now; or face Chef!" "I'm not sure which'd be worse," mumbled Scooter as everyone got off. "Today's challenge is a seventeen mile trek through the Amazon!" Chris yelled. "See yah if you make it!" Then the plane took off and left them.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Lionblaze – "So what, I'll die before I win anyways."

Stormfur – "I need a better feature of my personality."

Belle – "Ah... I'm an outdoor kittypet anyways."

Squirrelflight – "This is gonna be fun."

Static...

_Team Italics_ walked through the seemingly endless rainforest. "Can we take a break?" asked Dovepaw. "We've only gone an eighth of a mile," Tigerstar told her. Dovepaw groaned and the cats kept on walking through the thick dense forest. "Now?" asked Dovepaw when they'd take three more steps. "Shut up, bitch!" Whitestorm said. "Did I sound grouchy, at all? Does it fit me?"

Meanwhile, Team Underline had been making their way, slowly, through the wet terrain. "A seventeen mile hike, can Chris get any more of a jackass?" asked Jayfeather. "Probably, but I'm tired," Sandstorm said. The mangy orange shecat collapsed onto the ground. "Oh my god, get up!" Stormfur shouted. "Just leave her," Squirrelflight suggested. The team continued on without her.

**Team Bold** on the other hand was having problems of their; own. They had lost their path and ended up stuck at the bottom of a gorge. "Okay... where are we?" asked Leafpool. "Don't know terrorist hirer." Feathertail commented. "That was in f*cking season one, dumbass!" Leafpool shouted. "I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die," repeated Lionblaze. "I feel like the only sane one right now," Yellowfang said.

Static...

Diary Can Entries:

Chris – "Well... there's no clear bets on who's going to win this time."

Chef – "Am I even in this episode."

Linzerg – "You were just now."

Belle – "Now would be a good time to 'do away' with Scooter."

Scooter – "Now would be a good time to 'do away' with Belle."

Static...

Team Underline continued to walk through the splintered forest as they'd hit mile nine. "Half way there," shouted Jayfeather. He was then halted by Stormfur. "Are you stopping me because I'm blind! Is that it?" "Yah," Stormfur replied. "You were about to walk into a three hundred foot deep gorge..." "Oh..." Jayfeather replied. "Thanks." "Hey is that **Team Bold**?" asked Squirrelflight. And indeed it was. "Let's mock them!"

While Team Underline was laughing there heads off at **Team Bold**, Belle and Scooter were fighting at the edge of the cliff. "Go to hell!" shouted Belle as she swiped at Scooter. "F*ck you, bitch!" cried Scooter as he tackled Belle. "You don't have any balls!" "You have a stitched shut v*gina!" (Kittypet jokes.) The two clashed until they both tumbled over the edge. "Let's leave them, too." Squirrelflight said as the team retreated to the jungle.

_Team Italics_ was doing better on the other hand. They'd gotten pretty far until Tigerstar said, "Dovepaw, you better watch out for the sasquatch." "AHH!" yelled Dovepaw and she began running in circles and into the darker and creepier parts of the woods. "Wanna go looking for her?" asked Tigerstar. "Not really..." Firestar told them.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Tigerstar – "I honestly didn't think that'd happen."

Whitestorm – "You know what; I'm done trying out personalities. I'm a bland cat, and I'm proud of that."

Static...

Finally the first team reached the plane. It was _Team Italics_! "Team Italics wins," Chris said. Just as they were about to cheer, he added, "When Dovepaw shows up." "What?" the whole group asked. "The point of this challenge was to arrive, the fastest with all your team members; Tigerstar kind of spoiled that,' Chef said. Tigestar's team glared at him.

The next team to reach the plane was Team Underline. "Sorry team, you need all six cats." The three cats who were somehow remaining eyed each other with surprise. Then **Team Bold** arrived. "Did we lose?" asked Leafpool. "Do you have your whole team?" asked Chef. "Yeah," Feathertail replied. "You guys won," Linzerg told them. **Team Bold**'s mouths dropped with surprise.

Finally the sasquatch arrived with Dovepaw, asleep in his arms, making _Team Italics_ the second place winners. "Team Underline!" shouted Chris. "I'll see you at the plane, in the drop of losers section!"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Sandstorm – "If I get out, I'd like to say this... f*ck this show!"

Squirrelflight – "It's all of Belle, Scooter, and Sandstorm's fault we lost.

Stormfur – "This voting off ceremony may just be my favorite."

Jayfeather – "Time for something we should've done a long time ago."

Belle and Scooter – "Go to hell!" shouted Scooter. "F*ck you're sh*t, asshole!" Belle retorted.

Static...

Later when the plane had already launched...

"I have five fish on my plate tonight, but I see six cats before me. One of you is going to go home forever... And I mean ever..." Chris held up a fish. "The first cat'_**s**_ of the night is..." He took a deep breath. "Squirrelflight, Stormfur, and Jayfeather!"

Each of the cats walked up and took their piece. The three cats left were Sandstorm, Belle, and Scooter. "You three cost the team the challenge. I'm afraid one of you is history," said Chris. "The next cat is... Belle!" Belle turned to scooter and said, "F*CK YEAH! Take that... bitch!" She then took her tasty fish.

"The last piece goes to..." Chris wafted the fish in front of the cats' eyes, mouth, and nose. "Scooter!" Scooter ate his fish then walked up to Belle. "Oh... what now! BITCH SH*T!" Belle groaned and then walked into the loser room as Chef and Linzerg grabbed the sleeping Sandstorm and threw her off the plane (without a parachute).

Meanwhile the winning team was having the time of there lives. The Leafpool noticed that Lionblaze was especially miserable. "What's wrong?" asked Leafpool as she approached Lionblaze. "I only have five days, not counting today, to come up with a way to keep Samara from killing me." "Don't worry," Leafpool assured him. "I'll help you copy that tape... then we can show it to Tigerstar."

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Tigerstar – "Oh... screw them!"

Static...


	6. That's Sensei to You, Loser!

**(I make a reference to Xiaolin Showdown in this episode.)**

First there was Warriors Mouse Cash

Then came Warriors Bird Fight

And now... introducing...

_**Warriors Fish Flight!**_

6. That's Sensei to You, Loser!

Team Underline slugged from the room they'd been forced to sleep in. "Man..." Jayfeather moaned. "I'd been in first and regular class every challenge. Now I know why all those cats hated that room..." Squirrelflight then said, "I know... And the freakiest part was; Michael Jackson was their carrying a bottle of Jesus wine, a baby, and a sack of stuff with who knows what..." The rest of the cats stared in silence.

As the teams lined up, everyone noticed something off about Scooter. "Scooter?" asked Leafpool. "Are you okay?" "Yah... yah..." Scooter said. "Hey... Hey... Leafpool... *giggles* WE'RE ON... a... PLANE! And we... uh... we don't wear clothes... eh... who are you? I don't know! Look; pretty colors...! Ah...! Ha... ha... ha..." Scooter then fell unconscious. "Sorry about him," Belle apologized. "He was scared to go into the loser's room so he ate seventeen bags of catnip and weed transfusions to curb his anxiety."

Chris, Chef Hatchet (I haven't used his full name in a while), and Linzerg walked through the door. "Good morning!" Chris announced. "Today we'll be landing in Japan. You have to go through ancient Japanese cultural technique battles today if you want your team to succeed in the plot of today's perils...!"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Yellowfang – "The big fancy words confused me."

Dovepaw – "Yah... Sasquatch and I are takin' it slow. Um... we aren't really the fast moving type." Sniffles... "Okay! He broke up with me! It hurts so... BAD!" She then begins to cry.

Scooter – "Hey... camera... hey... guess what. I see... RAINBOWS EVERYWHERE... ha... ha! HA, HA! And peace signs and... FLOWERS...!" He then passes out.

Firestar – "I'm surrounded by mother fu..." Static... "...ers."

Static...

The plane landed and the remaining cats exited the plane. "Alright; today's challenge is 'Emperor of the Temple'! Here are the rules; you will all enter a separate door into the temple. If meet someone in the temple, you must kick the living sh*t out of them to advance. First one to reach the top of the tower wins something." He pointed to a high as heaven temple with probably went a mile up!

"What the hell!" Whitestorm shouted. All the cats picked one of the thirteen doors and got ready. "GO!" Linzerg shouted. "Can I eat the bodies of the cats that die, for dinner?" asked Chef. "Sure. Why not?" replied Linzerg. The cats all rushed into their separate doors and began their long journey up the towering temple which was a high tower. The cats then faced numerous tasks.

As Firestar journeyed through the halls, he ran into Stormfur. "YOU!" shouted Stormfur. "I shall defea..." An arrow shot out of the wall and nailed him in his back left leg. "Oh god... Damn it! This hurts! Ugh!" "Okay then... bye!" Firestar continued through the maze like temple while behind a hurt Stormfur shouted, "Good god... help! PLEASE FIRESTAR, HELP!"

Meanwhile on the other side of the temple; Leafpool was having problems of her own. She was walking calmly through the hall, when all of the sudden arrows shot at her from the walls. She immediately dodged them all. "Well that was..." A giant axe almost sliced her in half. "That was cl..." Three giant hammers almost killed Leafpool. "Man... what the hell are all these tra..." A billion anvils almost crush Leafpool. "Why are all these..." Falling spears narrowly miss Leafpool. "Come o..." Leafpool is almost killed by cinderblocks on chains. "Can I get a..." Lit gun power almost explodes Leafpool.

...

Sounds of high pitched screams are heard from the floor below. "Some bitch about to killed, nothing out the norm," Yellowfang moaned. A couple seconds later she ran into Jayfeather. "Jayfeather?" she asked. "If this is Yellowfang, kill me now..." Jayfeather moaned. ... "Okay," she said. Yellowfang then attacked and almost killed Jayfeather.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Leafpool – "Why are all these tr..." Leafpool disappears while sounds and bangs are heard along with high pitched screams.

Yellowfang – "Why am I trying to win? I won season 2."

Scooter – "I will kill Belle!"

Belle – "I will kill Scooter."

Static...

Firestar ran into Tigerstar, who was about to rush into the last floor of the temple, where the top was. Tigerstar was about to grab the Changing Chopsticks when Firestar grabbed then as well. "Tigerstar; I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown!" "I accept!" replied Tigerstar. "My Golden Tiger Claws against your Star Hanabi..." "The game is Ninja Swordsman. First one stabbed loses." Firestar proclaimed. "Let's go, Xiaolin Showdown!" The floor rose into gated Arena full of spikes and traps. "GONG YI, TEMPAI!"

The two thrashed and fought each other with all their might. They swung at each other with their colored swords which for some reason reminded people of light sabers. Tigerstar was using his Golden Tiger Claws to transport in places where Firestar could barely deflect, while Firestar was shooting fire with his Star Hanabi to hurt Tigerstar. Finally Tigerstar won by whacking his sword on Firestar's...unmentionables... Tigerstar left with his 3 Shen Gong Wu, and pride.

While on the stairwell to the top, Dovepaw and Squirrelflight were racing each other. Just as it looked as if Dovepaw was about to win, she slipped and they both fell down the stairwell. Squirrelflight shouted Dovepaw, "YOU SON OF BITCH!" "Sorry," Dovepaw replied in a baby voice. "What does bitch mean?"

Whitestorm and Feathertail did fight, but their battle was boring. Feathertail won. Let's move on. K'? Good? Thanks...

Belle and Scooter met face to face inside the temple. "So it's come to this..." said Belle. "I guess so," replied Scooter. The two pounced on each other and began shredding each other and tearing at each other's limbs. "You're a bitchy asshole!" Scooter yelled scratching Belles face. "And you're a ****************************************" Belle said while ripping off Scooter fur.

Meanwhile, Squirrelflight had just reached the top of the tower. "Yes I won the challenge!" "No..." Chef said. "You lost the challenge." "What!" Squirrelflight shrieked. "How, why? This makes no sense." "Chris said," began Linzerg. "Whoever gets to the top of the tower first wins 'something'; you won the loss for your team. See you at the loser's ceremony."

Later when the plane had taken off...

Team Underline shamefully lay at the losers' area. "I have four fish, but only... three cats... where are Belle and Scooter?" "They never showed up," replied Stormfur. "Okay then..." Chris said. "Belle and Scooter are out and you're all in. See you tomorrow..." "You guys wanna play monopoly?" asked Jayfeather. "Sure," replied Squirrelflight. The cats took the board game and went into the third class losers' room.

...

Belle and Scooter were still quarreling when they suddenly stopped. "Scooter," Belle asked. "How long have be fighting?" "A while, why?" Scooter replied. "Did we... miss the plane?" asked Belled. The froze for a moment then screamed. "AAAHHHHHHH!"

...

Meanwhile Lionblaze was sneaking the video into the winner's room. (They won because they did the worst.) Firestar then walked up to Lionblaze. "What're you doing?" he asked. "Sneaking the video," Lionblaze answered. "Heard Tigerstar owned you in a Xiaolin Showdown and totally whammed you in your dick and balls." "You wanna be whammed there, too?" Firestar retorted. "No..." Lionblaze said quivering. "Where were you in the challenge?" asked Firestar. "I snuck out to steal the tape," Lionblaze said back.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Firestar – "My dick and balls hurt..."

Tigerstar – "Now I only need 72 more Shen Gong Wu."

Chris – "This is a TDI/Warriors story; not a Xiaolin Showdown story."

Static...


	7. Surprise in the Sea

**There is no excuse for the amount of time it took me to get this chapter done. I was a lazy ass, and now for next chapter. Thanks for your patience.**

First there was Warriors Mouse Cash

Then came Warriors Bird Fight

And now... introducing...

_**Warriors Fish Flight!**_

7. Surprise in the Sea

The plane cat came to a screeching halt which flung the first class cats out of their cat beds, the regular class cats out of their seats, and the third class cats into the wall of their torturous prison. "All cats report to the door of the plane, now!" Chris' voice shouted through his microphone. "Also... Linzerg has quit the show due to her finally snapping from working with Chef. She will no longer be a co-host."

All the cats filed out as they approached the door. "Hey Firestar," Tigerstar shouted. "I got the changing chopsticks, golden tiger claws, and the star hanabi. What're yah gonna do about it? Huh?" Firestar walked up to him and kicked him in the groin. Tigerstar fell down in pain as Firestar grabbed all his shen-gong-wu and walked away.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Firestar – "Bitch got what he deserved."

Stormfur – "I wonder where Belle and Scooter are now..."

Leafpool – "Holy sh*t! I'm still here."

Dovepaw – "No one's made fun of me in a while!" Outside, Jayfeather's voice was heard saying, "Go to hell, you ass!"

Yellowfang – "Wonder how much longer this series will last."

Snowwhistle (I had to add myself. I haven't done it in a while.) – "Trust me... I'll kill you really quickly."

Static...

They looked outside the plane and saw the plane was in the middle of the ocean. "Today's challenge is..." Chris said. "Swim to the island. But first... we need to sort you into your new teams." "What?" Whitestorm asked. "You see," Chris continued. "We have 11 of you left. After this challenge, there'll be 10. Then we'll re-divide you into two teams. Chef, here... now... cats overboard...!"

Chef walked up to the cats and said, "I wish these cats'd die..." He then kicked them all out, one by one.

The cats sat in the water as the plane took off. "Well this sucks..." groaned Lionblaze. "Oh really?" a voice said from behind him. Lionblaze turned around to see a familiar she-cat behind him. "Hollyleaf?" he asked in shock. All of the cats swam toward her. "Good to see yah," she said. "How've you been?" "I watched Samara's tape," Lionblaze spoke.

...

"That sucks," she proclaimed. "Come on, I've been living on an island down there!" She flicked her tail towards a deserted island. The cats swam towards it and walked onto the dry land. There they found Hollyleaf had created a 5 Star Resort with an airport, packed full of guest. "Amazing what you can do with three-thousand tons of sticks, metal, and duct tape. You guys wanna stay awhile?" she asked. The cats scurried off towards the resort to check in.

3 days later...

Lionblaze was sitting in his room when the TV went into static. Then all of the sudden, a well appeared. A girl, about ten with black hair covering her eyes, emerged from the well and began walking towards the screen. She then crawled out of the TV and began walking towards Lionblaze. "OH MY GOD!" shouted Lionblaze as he took a baseball bat and began to repeatedly hit her. "OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HOW THE HELL IS SHE HERE? OH MY GOD!"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Lionblaze – "I never thought beating the cursed tape would be that easy."

Samara – "You know what, I quit. I will not be smacked around with a bat ever again!"

Hollyleaf – "I will reenter this competition! I WILL! I had no character build up!"

Jayfeather – "Can't we just stay here forever?"

Tigerstar – Tigerstar enters in a face mask, a robe, with a towel around the top of his head. "YOU ALL HAVE SEEN NOTHING!"

Whitestorm – "Personalities are for snotty rich kids."

Static...

"It's been great seeing you again," said Jayfeather. "But we have to reach the plane!" "Oh! Its right over there," Hollyleaf responded. The cats all started swimming off in the direction Hollyleaf pointed to them. "Just be careful of the jellyfish!" "AH!"

"And the sharks," she continued.

"AH!"

"And the poisonous water snakes."

"AH!"

"And the piranhas, too..."

"AH!"

"And the electric eels, as well..."

A beaten up Stormfur crawled onto the land. "I'm... going to... kick... your... ass..." Stormfur then fell to the ground, unconscious.

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Squirrelflight – "I hate Hollyleaf..."

Stormfur – "I'm still going to kick her ass."

Jayfeather – Jayfeather is swimming in circles in the middle of the ocean. "Where the hell is land? I can't see a damned thing!"

Firestar – "'S-anyone seen Jayfeather?"

Static...

The cats each began to brainstorm ways of making it to the plane without getting hurt. "We could build a boat," suggested Whitestorm. "We could build an arc," said Tigerstar. "We could build a ship," prowled Yellowfang. "We could build a dingy," purred Feathertail. "We could build a canoe," answered Lionblaze. "We could all watch the cursed tape," said Samara. "Instead of building versions of a boat or watching movies," spoke Dovepaw, "We could surf there..."

5 minutes later...

The cats had begun surfing back to the plane. Each cat rode on a sleek stylish skateboard, courtesy of Hollyleaf. How the hell there was a wave big enough for them to ride back to the plane is beyond me. Yet somehow, it happened. Crazy as it sounds... They all collided with the plane and we launched inside by the momentum. "Alright," Chris announced as he approached. "You're all he... where's Jayfeather?"

Static...

Jayfeather continuously swam in circles in the poisonous and carnivorous sea creature infested waters. "I still don't know where the hell I'm going!" he shouted. "And these stings hurt, damn it!"

Static...

"Oh well," Chris shrugged. "Chef; tell these cats there new teams." Chef blankly walked over towards them and said, "The new teams will be divided by gender. On Team Tom: Lionblaze, Firestar, Whitestorm, Tigerstar, and Stormfur. On Team She-Cats: Yellowfang, Leafpool, Feathertail, Dovepaw, and Squirrelflight. Tonight you all sleep in middle class. Tomorrow there's only gonna be first class and danger this sucks areas; night!"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Snowwhistle – "Please don't hate me for not updating in so long! I took a break for a month. Hope this makes up for the wait!"


	8. Yodel Le' Ye Who!

**I know there's confusion... so just we're clear on the story order... it goes... Warriors Mouse Cash, Warriors Bird Fight, Warriors Fish Flight...  
****If you're still having trouble; read the boring stuff before the title...  
****If you're still having trouble... tsk... tsk... tsk... In all my years a... I not even saying, nothing'…  
****Sorry for the delayed update.  
****Good news though, today I got a snow day!**

First there was Warriors Mouse Cash

Then came Warriors Bird Fight

And now... introducing...

_**Warriors Fish Flight!**_

8. Yodel Le' Yee Who!

Team Tom and Team She-cats both exited the 2nd Class area of the plane. It'd be the last time any of them would ever sleep there. The plane slowly descended from the sky and ricocheted off a bunch of solid objects. Then the plane came to a screeching halt and crash. "Holy sh*t..." groaned Tigerstar. "Did anyone else feel that?"

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Tigerstar – "What...?"

Leafpool – "Dumb ass..."

Dovepaw – "Moron." Outside Firestar says, "You're one to talk, bitch!" Dovepaw runs out screaming and crying.

Feathertail – "Screwball."

Firestar – "Tigerstar should be on the She-cat's team..."

Stormfur – "Right in the crotch..." Outside the stall, Firestar is heard saying, "I'm gonna f*ck you son of a-"

Static...

All of the contestants exited the plane, only to find themselves on top of a Swiss Mountain. "Well..." Yellowfang moaned. "It's safe to say this challenge is going to be a piece a work." "Right you are!" Chris exclaimed as he skied toward them. "Today's challenge will be to ski all the way down a mountain, then help your team heave a boulder back up it."

Chef walked up the group with a huge sledge hammer. "Cat eliminated goes down the hill the hard way!" The remaining cats gulped. "Now go you maggots! GO!"

The cats ran into a nearby hut and put on skis and then slid down the mountain. Firestar appeared to be in the lead... until he sped too fast and he ran his crotch right into a sharp rock. "Right in the crotch," Stormfur yelled as he zoomed by. The cats catapulted through trees, rocks, shrubbery, and all kinds of animal packs. Dovepaw was actually having fun with challenge.

"Wee!" she shouted as she went faster downhill. Whitestorm was skiing right next to her. "How you doing, Mr. No Emotions," Dovepaw asked. Whitestorm looked forward and then at her. "Bear..." Whitestorm replied as Dovepaw ran straight into a tall brown, angry bear. "See yah..." he called back to her as she was mauled by the rabid animal's teeth and claws.

Lionblaze, on the other hand was doing the challenge with his eyes closed. "What the hell are you doing?" asked Squirrelflight. Lionblaze responded, "I can't be injured step mom. Haven't you read the books?" "Not really," Squirrelflight replied. "I only read the New Prophecy, when my image was clean..."

Static...

Diary Cam Entries:

Squirrelflight – "Erin Hunter... you ruined me!"

Tigerstar – "Yes... Yes she did."

Squirrelflight – "It's not fair!"

Static...

The first two cats to reach the bottom were Stormfur and Leafpool. This is what happened. "I'm happy you made it down." Leafpool commented. "I'm happy you're happy," said Stormfur. "I'm happy you're happy I'm happy." "I'm happy you're happy that I'm happy that you're happy." "Well..., I'm happy that you're happy that I'm happy that you're happy because I'm happy." "Well..." "Shut up!" shouted Whitestorm who had just reached the bottom.

Eventually all the cats began to turn up at the bottom. Well... All except for Dovepaw of Team She-Cats. She was still being mauled by the bear. But no one really cared to search for her. The toms began rolling their boulder up the hill.

Static…

Diary Cam Entries:

Firestar: "Me and my crotch are running gags…"

Dovepaw: "Yes!" Dovepaw shouted. "Now I'm not the only one!" "Shut up, bitch," came Firestar's voice from the outside.

Static…

The toms continued pushing, with every step, the hill grew stepper. "This is torture," shouted Stormfur. "Well, suck it up!" Tigerstar growled. "I hate my life," Lionblaze moaned. "I hate your life too, dude." replied Firestar. "Anyone got a god damned mouse?" asked Whitestorm. The cats continuously tried to ignore each other as they pushed the boulder uphill.

…

The she-cats were still waiting at the bottom of the hill. "Okay…" asked Yellowfang. "Where is that son of a bitch?"

…

Dovepaw is crawling out of the cave, when all of the sudden; a bear arm grabs her and begins to pull her back in. "No…!" She begins to shout. "Hey! Is that a camera man? Why the hell aren't you helping? Hello… NO!" Dovepaw then disappeared into the cavern.

…

The toms had finally reached the top of the hill. "Team Toms win!" Chris shouted. He congratulated the cats and then grabbed a bull horn. "Listen up she-cats!" He yelled into it! "The last she-cat to make it up the hill is eliminated. Run when I say go… GO!" The cats at the bottom of the hill began running as fast as they could, up the hill. Eventually, the four at the bottom reached the top.

Then a bloody and mangled Dovepaw managed to make it to the top, coming in last. "What happened to you?" asked Chef Hatchet. "What happened to me?" she howled. "WHAT HAPPENED TO ME! I just fought off a bear, yelled at a camera man, and dragged my half dead body up the god damn mountain! I will not be eliminated!" But Chef just picked the light apprentice off the ground and threw her back down the mountain. "She's gone, let's go," he told Chris.

Everyone boarded the plane, but Firestar looked glum. "What's wrong with you?" asked Lionblaze. "We won!" "My crotch is the show's new running gag," Firestar complained. "And now I don't even have Dovepaw to help shield some of the humility." "Look at it this way," Lionblaze told him. "You'll get even more attention, now."

The rest of the male cats went back to eating their treats and napping while Firestar moaned and moaned and moaned…


End file.
